In this episode Nicnac works to shift their energy and considers what it will take cautiously to spend more time outside of their darkened studio where they’ve spent most of their time since Covid started in March of 2020. They are in the process of accepting the neurodivergent capacity limits they have that cause them to need to work hard to be mindful of their limits when outside of their safe space and interacting with others
In this episode Nicnac talks about gender and the challenges that arise from trying to navigate the world being as true to themselves and others as possible. They ponder how hard it is to be real in modern society and seek your feedback on how that reflects on our species in the long run.
In this episode Nicnac reviews their more than 30 years of mental health treatment. Over the course of their life they have been diagnosed with a wide variety of illnesses ranging from ADD to Bipolar and Autism. Despite Nicnac’s extensive treatment history, they continue to feel like they are living an endurance test. Having briefly worked in the mental health field, Nicnac reports on some research they’ve been doing into the social model of disability and the use of the term neurodivergent. Nicnac strongly feels that if they take a more assertive approach to getting treatment and interacting with mental health professionals in addition to trying to maximize the positives of their neurodivergence they can turn a corner. Nicnac also refers back to some of their early work and a college essay they wrote describing a hypothetical link between neurodivergence and self actualization. If this could be proven to the greatest degree possible in social science, then Nicnac thinks they may have an alternate design for The US Mental Health System. Nicnacjak. Ever the system designer.
In this episode Nicolas (Nicnac) explores their struggle to find the right balance in social interactions and overcome some insecurities that are currently hampering their ambitions. Nicolas also discusses the fate of their “wellness document” and the struggle to make better audio content. They close out the episode by talking about gender and queerness. Reemphasizing their relatively new belief that social justice progress cannot be solely dependent on non violent direct action. Progress has been enabled on social justice issues through a diverse range of actions including non-violent direct action, legal advocacy, mutual aid and events such as “The Stonewall Riots”.
Show Notes: In this episode Nicolas begins to question their ongoing efforts to change who they are to conform better with neurotypical people. Nicolas refers to The Sims, Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, and a preliminary understanding of Buddhism and the social theory of disability to ground their thinking and consider new approaches to their stuckness. How will it play out? Keep listening to find out!
In this episode Nicnac identifies the major components of their personal psyche; best articulated as an internal battle between Mr Spock (autism like) vs Homer Simpson (bipolar like) and how that battle impacts their struggle for wellness.
In this episode Nicolas reviews their psychological history with a working Bipolar diagnosis and Autism Spectrum diagnosis (high functioning pre-DSM V Asperger’s Syndrome) and the highlights of their physical health history and how that impacts their path to wellness today. It’s going to take a lot to move those boulders in the road! But never give up. Keep trying
In this episode Nicolas returns to the classic production style and muses on issues in their personal life and their system design skills which they have recently been trying to apply to personal life harm reduction.
Nicolas starts out Season 15 of The Nicnacjak Podcast noting the early physical symptoms of middle age despite being over 2 and a half years from the theoretical mid life point and trying to get their head around the concept. Nicolas notes their recent efforts at life improvement and a perceived lack of progress but reports being reasonably prepared for this phase of life given their current circumstances. They outline their hopes and ambitions for the “other side of the hill” noting the difficulty in trying to attain financial independence, romance, friendships and having enough needs met to comfortably engage in projects of passion designed to leave a legacy.
In The Nicnacjak Podcast Season 14 finale Nicolas reflects on their 15 years in podcasting and broadcasting. An unplanned career move that turned out reasonably well. Still, Nicolas expresses concern about the future of the medium as big tech tries to tighten their grip on content producers like themselves who have enjoyed relative freedom in an increasingly corporately controlled internet environment.