Trigger Warning: This is a deep, heavy, and honest episode that may not be suitable for everyone including dark themes, politics, and autistic life struggle. Please proceed intentionally and do your own thinking as required. If you don’t have the ability to listen with an open mind please don’t!
In this episode, Nicnac reviews some notable media portrayals of Autism and autistic traits and puts them in the context of their personal experience of life on the spectrum as best they can. They focus their efforts on Raymond from Rain Man, House from House MD, and Leonard and Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. Nicnac notes that the writers for House and Big Bang claimed their characters weren’t Autistic. Likely to try and give themself artistic license. Although Nicnac loves both shows at various points in their runs Nicnac views this move as dishonest and harmful to people that live the lives portrayed on a daily basis. Rain Man is a far worse case of the writer using Raymond as little more than a cheap story mechanic to force change in the main character (keep in mind Nicnac is a struggling writer. They get these things).
Nicnac again emphasizes the incredible diversity of the spectrum and how little those that don’t have lived experience truly know about Autistic life. Nicnac encourages media creators and consumers to be inclusive ad admit when they fall short. Nicnac strives to hold themselves to the same standard.
In this episode Nicnac describes a moment of incredible clarity that they reached at the end of last weekend. An experience that they articulate as something akin to A “Dr. House” style epiphany coupled with the euphoric clearly the character would experience at the end of the majority of the episodes in the 2004-2012 series. They make the best effort they can muster in an attempt to explain their lifelong social, work and daily cognitive experience. They have made a herculean effort to complete this production as they endure the early stages of neurodivergent burn out. They begin the wrap up process by providing recommendations for sources of other first hand accounts of the neurodivergent experience. Capping it all off by sharing a piece of prose that they feel captures their experience in a unique way. If you have feedback or questions please share them with Nicnac. They would be happy to respond and engage with those that are interested.
The opening music is Raindrop Rhapsody by Josh Eikenberry. The closing music is Catch Me If You Can by Attica Attica. Find them here. Nicnac thanks both groups for allowing their creations to be used in the production of other’s work. They do the same!
In this episode Nicnac works to shift their energy and considers what it will take cautiously to spend more time outside of their darkened studio where they’ve spent most of their time since Covid started in March of 2020. They are in the process of accepting the neurodivergent capacity limits they have that cause them to need to work hard to be mindful of their limits when outside of their safe space and interacting with others
In this episode I talk about suppressing male urges and dealing with life on The Autism Spectrum by thinking about life in terms of algorithms. I also run into my version of a crisis of faith where both social science and astrophysics are letting me down