Trigger Warning: This is a deep, heavy, and honest episode that may not be suitable for everyone including dark themes, politics, and autistic life struggle. Please proceed intentionally and do your own thinking as required. If you don’t have the ability to listen with an open mind please don’t!
In this episode, Nicnac thinks back to the horrors of being a child and having that natural wonder beaten down and suppressed. Although Nicnac has never been able to tolerate children (even as a child) they see and know the pain of childhood. They encourage those that do have the skills needed to be there for children to let them be human. They encourage adults to remember a free their inner child.
In this episode, Nicnac reflects on the view outside their Windows and tries to synthesize the last month or so of their progress and creative endeavors over the last month or so. This is definitely an ongoing creative experiment so Nicnac would appreciate constructive feedback.
Nicnac is thankful to their recent guests for sharing their time effort and views. Please don’t forget to check out past episodes.
In this episode, Nicnac has a conversation with Suzanna Chen. Suzanna is an autistic youth, advocate, and member of the Detester Magazine Team. The team has recently put out a survey designed to improve young autistic life by collecting first-hand accounts of the experience. Please consider completing the survey if you are an autist. Also, be sure to check out the other great work being done at Desterer Magazine and Learn from Autistics.
In this episode, Nicnac describes their Philosophy of Disability and the way that the world they live in forces them into thinking about it in many ways at the same time. They reason that the best way to make progress on this is to keep sharing their experience and empathically listening to the experience of others.
In this episode, Nicnac gives explaining and defining Neurodivergance another try, having felt that they may have glossed over a few things in recent episodes. They return to their favorite historic Psychologist Abraham Maslow to point out an important oversight in his research that some current scholars are beginning to understand. Namely, the internal experience of autism and other forms of neurodiversity.
They highlight the recent work done by Dr. Dora Raymaker and The Academic Autism Spectrum Partnership in Research and Education at Portland State University around the topic of Autistic Burnout and the age range when it becomes most severe. Generally speaking, around the time of transition into adulthood between about 15 and 25. In Nicnac’s case, this period extended well into their early 30’s. Nicnac notes that they relied heavily on and connected strongly to the work of John Lennon and The Beatles during this period of their life. Nicnac notes some notable parallels between John’s life experience and their own with both Nicnac and John seeming to express less external public distress by their early to mid-30s. Nicnac suspects that in both cases it’s more a matter of masking and avoiding known triggers than anything else.
Nicnac makes mention of a recent survey invitation they got to contribute to the creation of a guidebook for autistic teens as one example of improved research and collaborative methodology that is inclusive of the first-hand internal experience. Nicnac hopes that if researchers continue to include and involve people with the lived internal experience that mental health at large might slowly turn an important corner.
Nicnac again notes the importance of the neurodivergent online community. A community that often seems to be lightyears ahead of researchers especially when it came to finding an overlap between neurodiversity and gender diversity. Nicnac mentions where they are in their translation and that they are hoping they’ve found the right support in this area.
Finely, Nicnac mentions plans they have to branch out with the podcast despite their social limitations. This will hopefully include an interview with Antony Rotunno in the next episode. A podcaster, teacher, truth seeker and recording artist who knows John Lennon about as well as anyone who wasn’t John Lennon can. They also mention the story of Robert Pirsig. A person they hope to research and cover in some depth down the line. Finely, they mention their desire to interview other neurodivergent people and activists who are similarly hell-bent on making the world better even if we can’t stand humanity overall.
In this episode Nicnac tries to connect their recent progress in self identity to the work that they’ve done and how they came to do that work. They try to explain that they are driven to strive for a better world because they’ve experienced pain and indeed have caused pain. Nicnac does this by talking a bit about the podcast, their desire to be accepted, their more problematic coping techniques and explaining why they wrote and released their early song “Say What You Want To Say” at the age of 19.
The opening music is Raindrop Rhapsody by Josh Eikenberry. The closing music is Catch Me If You Can by Attica Attica. Find them at atticaattica.bandcamp.com. Nicnac thanks both groups for allowing their creations to be used in the production of other work.
In this episode Nicolas (Nicnac) explores their struggle to find the right balance in social interactions and overcome some insecurities that are currently hampering their ambitions. Nicolas also discusses the fate of their “wellness document” and the struggle to make better audio content. They close out the episode by talking about gender and queerness. Reemphasizing their relatively new belief that social justice progress cannot be solely dependent on non violent direct action. Progress has been enabled on social justice issues through a diverse range of actions including non-violent direct action, legal advocacy, mutual aid and events such as “The Stonewall Riots”.
In this episode Nicnac identifies the major components of their personal psyche; best articulated as an internal battle between Mr Spock (autism like) vs Homer Simpson (bipolar like) and how that battle impacts their struggle for wellness.