Trigger Warning: This is a deep, heavy, and honest episode that may not be suitable for everyone including dark themes, politics, and autistic life struggle. Please proceed intentionally and do your own thinking as required. If you don’t have the ability to listen with an open mind please don’t!
Trigger Warning: This is a deep, heavy, and honest episode that may not be suitable for everyone including dark themes, politics, and autistic life struggle. Please proceed intentionally and do your own thinking as required. If you don’t have the ability to listen with an open mind please skip this one!
In this episode, Nicnac wrestles with the reality of their internal world and how that impacts the way they see the external world after losing a social connection they had a lot of hope for earlier in the month. While they know that attempts at sharing their internal world rarely go well no matter the social context, they hold steadfast in their desire to embrace their authentic autistic and borderline self.
They express hope that careful online communities can continue to find the kind of lived truths that medicine and science can’t. Feeling that, although life for anyone not rich white and male is difficult, it’s better to intellectually and emotionally battle oppression than to completely withdraw and mask. Nicnac ain’t down yet. But, they’ve more than had it with a world that is hell-bent on oppressing divergent thoughts.
They close by again encouraging others with lived autistic experience to take Detester Maginzine’s educational survey if they have the capacity to do so. They are putting as much as they can into listening to others with greater or different knowledge of the lived experience than they possess. Please see the links below so you don’t have to take their word for it.
In this episode, Nicnac sits down with Antony Rotunno, a teacher, podcaster, musician, truth seeker and life coach to talk about artistic media creation, the search for truth, John Lennon, The Beatles and everything in-between. This is a hugely deep conversation that will likely cause both Nicnac and listeners to rethink some things.
The opening music is Raindrop Rhapsody by Josh Eikenberry. We also hear a selection of Antony’s “Life Goes On” featuring an amazing violin solo by María Martín. “Life Goes On” is copyright 2017 by Antony Rotunno and included with his permission. Check out his music at https://www.antonyrotunno.com/ The closing music is Catch Me If You Can by Attica Attica. Find them at atticaattica.bandcamp.com.
I thank these artists for allowing their creations to be used in this production.
In this episode, Nicnac gives explaining and defining Neurodivergance another try, having felt that they may have glossed over a few things in recent episodes. They return to their favorite historic Psychologist Abraham Maslow to point out an important oversight in his research that some current scholars are beginning to understand. Namely, the internal experience of autism and other forms of neurodiversity.
They highlight the recent work done by Dr. Dora Raymaker and The Academic Autism Spectrum Partnership in Research and Education at Portland State University around the topic of Autistic Burnout and the age range when it becomes most severe. Generally speaking, around the time of transition into adulthood between about 15 and 25. In Nicnac’s case, this period extended well into their early 30’s. Nicnac notes that they relied heavily on and connected strongly to the work of John Lennon and The Beatles during this period of their life. Nicnac notes some notable parallels between John’s life experience and their own with both Nicnac and John seeming to express less external public distress by their early to mid-30s. Nicnac suspects that in both cases it’s more a matter of masking and avoiding known triggers than anything else.
Nicnac makes mention of a recent survey invitation they got to contribute to the creation of a guidebook for autistic teens as one example of improved research and collaborative methodology that is inclusive of the first-hand internal experience. Nicnac hopes that if researchers continue to include and involve people with the lived internal experience that mental health at large might slowly turn an important corner.
Nicnac again notes the importance of the neurodivergent online community. A community that often seems to be lightyears ahead of researchers especially when it came to finding an overlap between neurodiversity and gender diversity. Nicnac mentions where they are in their translation and that they are hoping they’ve found the right support in this area.
Finely, Nicnac mentions plans they have to branch out with the podcast despite their social limitations. This will hopefully include an interview with Antony Rotunno in the next episode. A podcaster, teacher, truth seeker and recording artist who knows John Lennon about as well as anyone who wasn’t John Lennon can. They also mention the story of Robert Pirsig. A person they hope to research and cover in some depth down the line. Finely, they mention their desire to interview other neurodivergent people and activists who are similarly hell-bent on making the world better even if we can’t stand humanity overall.
In this episode Nicnac works to shift their energy and considers what it will take cautiously to spend more time outside of their darkened studio where they’ve spent most of their time since Covid started in March of 2020. They are in the process of accepting the neurodivergent capacity limits they have that cause them to need to work hard to be mindful of their limits when outside of their safe space and interacting with others
In this episode Nicolas returns to the classic production style and muses on issues in their personal life and their system design skills which they have recently been trying to apply to personal life harm reduction.
Nicolas starts out Season 15 of The Nicnacjak Podcast noting the early physical symptoms of middle age despite being over 2 and a half years from the theoretical mid life point and trying to get their head around the concept. Nicolas notes their recent efforts at life improvement and a perceived lack of progress but reports being reasonably prepared for this phase of life given their current circumstances. They outline their hopes and ambitions for the “other side of the hill” noting the difficulty in trying to attain financial independence, romance, friendships and having enough needs met to comfortably engage in projects of passion designed to leave a legacy.
In this episode Nicolas struggles with their own sense of integrity and their recent lapses as well as the lapses in integrity of other organizations and people around them. Nicolas really struggles with trying to find an honest path towards harm reduction.
In this episode Nicolas discusses trying to triage meeting the current demands of their life loosely informed by their understanding of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and The Wellness Recovery Action Plan. The former has proven to be more helpful as Nicolas works though their survival needs in hopes of being able to spend more time on meeting esteem needs.
Finding themselves in a particularly rough state after months of quarantine due to Covid 19 and more recently near complete self imposed isolation, Nicolas shares some raw thoughts, feelings and fears.