In this episode, Nicnac finds herself half hearing Anne Murray’s version of “You Won’t See Me”. This ties into her ongoing translation and recent coming-out day events in Nicnac’s mind. She does her best to info dump and tell her story in an entertaining way. With hopes that she may be able to do another conversation episode around this sort of topic with a friend soon.
In this episode Nicnac tries to connect their recent progress in self identity to the work that they’ve done and how they came to do that work. They try to explain that they are driven to strive for a better world because they’ve experienced pain and indeed have caused pain. Nicnac does this by talking a bit about the podcast, their desire to be accepted, their more problematic coping techniques and explaining why they wrote and released their early song “Say What You Want To Say” at the age of 19.
The opening music is Raindrop Rhapsody by Josh Eikenberry. The closing music is Catch Me If You Can by Attica Attica. Find them at atticaattica.bandcamp.com. Nicnac thanks both groups for allowing their creations to be used in the production of other work.
In this episode Nicnac reviews their more than 30 years of mental health treatment. Over the course of their life they have been diagnosed with a wide variety of illnesses ranging from ADD to Bipolar and Autism. Despite Nicnac’s extensive treatment history, they continue to feel like they are living an endurance test. Having briefly worked in the mental health field, Nicnac reports on some research they’ve been doing into the social model of disability and the use of the term neurodivergent. Nicnac strongly feels that if they take a more assertive approach to getting treatment and interacting with mental health professionals in addition to trying to maximize the positives of their neurodivergence they can turn a corner. Nicnac also refers back to some of their early work and a college essay they wrote describing a hypothetical link between neurodivergence and self actualization. If this could be proven to the greatest degree possible in social science, then Nicnac thinks they may have an alternate design for The US Mental Health System. Nicnacjak. Ever the system designer.