The Ugly

Trigger Warning: This is a deep, heavy, and honest episode that may not be suitable for everyone including dark themes, politics, and autistic life struggle. Please proceed intentionally and do your own thinking as required. If you don’t have the ability to listen with an open mind please don’t!

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Show Notes

In this episode, Nicnac drops as much of the mask as they can muster and just tries to deal with it in hopes of coming out the other side. 

Credits

The music is Raindrop Rahspody by Josh Elkinberry, The Fools Guide by Anthony Rotunno and, of course, Catch Me If You Can by Attica Attica

If you enjoy this music please support these independent artists by buying their work or making donations!

The Nicnac Podcast & FSRideAlong Series is © 2006-2021 by Nicnac Marsh and is released under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License

Being Studied And Treated

Trigger Warning: This is a deep, heavy, and honest episode that may not be suitable for everyone including dark themes, politics, and autistic life struggle. Please proceed intentionally and do your own thinking as required. If you don’t have the ability to listen with an open mind please don’t!

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In this episode, Nicnac turns a critical eye towards what little help is offered for divergent individuals with and without means in The United States. They break down their personal experience with their support systems both internal and external. They’ve come to like and accept most aspects of being an autistic, physically limited, queer, and trans person. But, they still struggle and endure much physical and mental pain from both the internal and external world. 

Being physically limited, their autism is their superpower. They have no interest in a cure! 

They don’t use person-first language these days because they would not be who they are were it not for their genetic inheritance and the traumatic life experience that inheritance has lead to.  it’s pain that leads to creative divergent ability. Nothing else. They seek only support that will empower their authentically autistic self. 

Little of that is available in The US. Still, less of it is being developed. Nicnac encourages anyone listening that cares to address them using their proper name and pronouns (Nicnac, They/Them). They understand that this takes getting used to and ask that people self-correct quickly before moving on.

To the scientific, education and medical communities, they point out that much of what they are currently doing isn’t helpful to their experience of being on the spectrum. It’s a spectrum so results will vary from individual to individual. They list their unmet needs in hopes that someone with the power to help meet them might hear. They do this mainly because their in-person articulative abilities are more limited than in the context of the podcast.

They find it strange how it all comes down to Maslow and Rosenberg. As if society has spent the last 48 years or so intentionally forgetting the tremendous thought that took place in the mid to late 20th century. They implore listeners to get over their amnesia. Pointing out that lives depend on it and noting that continuing their own life is mostly contingent on getting their needs meet and having their own space where they can stimm, game and live as they see fit. Including their extremely divergent sleeping habits that are functionally non-functional.

They have no qualms with dying on this hill. After so many years of living a life of social deprivation and ostracisation, the conclusion to them is pretty simple. People that fail to meet societal standards aren’t failures. Society is the falling element. They implore people to care enough to do better. Knowing that more wrongness will come. But, hoping that rightness will come along at some point. If not for them then for future generations that endure the dualistic nature of being on the harsher end of our neurologically diverse species.

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Learn From Autistics

Autistamatic YouTube Channel

Autistic Collaboration

Sarah Kurchak

Credits

The opening music is Raindrop Rhapsody by Josh Eikenberry.

The closing music is Catch Me If You Can by Attica Attica. Find them at atticaattica.bandcamp.com.

The Nicnac Podcast & FSRideAlong Series is © 2006-2021 by Nicnac Marsh and is released under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License

Living Is Easy With Eyes Closed

In this episode, Nicnac sits down with Antony Rotunno, a teacher, podcaster, musician, truth seeker and life coach to talk about artistic media creation, the search for truth, John Lennon, The Beatles and everything in-between. This is a hugely deep conversation that will likely cause both Nicnac and listeners to rethink some things.

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Credits

Check out all of Antony’s work at https://www.antonyrotunno.com/

The opening music is Raindrop Rhapsody by Josh Eikenberry. We also hear a selection of Antony’s “Life Goes On” featuring an amazing violin solo by María Martín. “Life Goes On” is copyright 2017 by Antony Rotunno and included with his permission. Check out his music at https://www.antonyrotunno.com/ The closing music is Catch Me If You Can by Attica Attica. Find them at atticaattica.bandcamp.com.

I thank these artists for allowing their creations to be used in this production. 

The Nicnac Podcast & FSRideAlong Series is © 2006-2021 by Nicnac Marsh and is released under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License

What Is Neurodivergance?

In this episode, Nicnac gives explaining and defining Neurodivergance another try, having felt that they may have glossed over a few things in recent episodes. They return to their favorite historic Psychologist Abraham Maslow to point out an important oversight in his research that some current scholars are beginning to understand. Namely, the internal experience of autism and other forms of neurodiversity. 

They highlight the recent work done by Dr. Dora Raymaker and The Academic Autism Spectrum Partnership in Research and Education at Portland State University around the topic of Autistic Burnout and the age range when it becomes most severe. Generally speaking, around the time of transition into adulthood between about 15 and 25. In Nicnac’s case, this period extended well into their early 30’s. Nicnac notes that they relied heavily on and connected strongly to the work of John Lennon and The Beatles during this period of their life. Nicnac notes some notable parallels between John’s life experience and their own with both Nicnac and John seeming to express less external public distress by their early to mid-30s. Nicnac suspects that in both cases it’s more a matter of masking and avoiding known triggers than anything else.

Nicnac makes mention of a recent survey invitation they got to contribute to the creation of a guidebook for autistic teens as one example of improved research and collaborative methodology that is inclusive of the first-hand internal experience. Nicnac hopes that if researchers continue to include and involve people with the lived internal experience that mental health at large might slowly turn an important corner. 

Nicnac again notes the importance of the neurodivergent online community. A community that often seems to be lightyears ahead of researchers especially when it came to finding an overlap between neurodiversity and gender diversity. Nicnac mentions where they are in their translation and that they are hoping they’ve found the right support in this area.

Finely, Nicnac mentions plans they have to branch out with the podcast despite their social limitations. This will hopefully include an interview with Antony Rotunno in the next episode. A podcaster, teacher, truth seeker and recording artist who knows John Lennon about as well as anyone who wasn’t John Lennon can. They also mention the story of Robert Pirsig. A person they hope to research and cover in some depth down the line. Finely, they mention their desire to interview other neurodivergent people and activists who are similarly hell-bent on making the world better even if we can’t stand humanity overall.

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Credits

The opening music is Raindrop Rhapsody by Josh Eikenberry. The closing music is Catch Me If You Can by Attica Attica. Find them at atticaattica.bandcamp.com


The Nicnac Podcast & FSRideAlong Series is © 2006-2021 by Nicnac Marsh and is released under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License

Triage

In this episode Nicolas discusses trying to triage meeting the current demands of their life loosely informed by their understanding of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and The Wellness Recovery Action Plan. The former has proven to be more helpful as Nicolas works though their survival needs in hopes of being able to spend more time on meeting esteem needs.

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SE 13 Ep 12: Generally Speaking

In this episode I talk about the perspective and generalization of social science and the line of thinking it leads to. I also talk about my feelings relative to Thanksgiving (editor’s note this was recorded before Thanksgiving 2019).

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Needs And Connections

In this episode Nicolas renews his interest in psychology and starts to explore Non-violent Communication techniques by trying to connect their needs with the needs of others. This causes them to reexamine the generation talk in the last two episodes and express a desire to try and connect with and understand older people.

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Feedback

SE 12 Ep 13 The Struggle Is Real

In this episode I describe the struggle I am having with the primary effects of the psychiatric meds I’ve been prescribed following my mental breakdown. I also describe an interview with an intern that I’ll be airing for my first Big Idea Show this week and the struggle I am having to frame the interview within the context of the show. Finally I touch on my binary brain and how that parallels with older people’s struggle to understand the concept of the non-binary gender identity.

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